Dating issues and conflict

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And when a couple learns to fight a good fight, the conflict actually brings them closer.All couples generally fight over the same five things: money, sex, work, parenting and housework.We fight—just like every other couple on the planet.

As a psychologist (Les) and a marriage and family therapist (Leslie), married since 1984, we don’t claim to have a perfect relationship.

Using the division of labor approach does away with all that.

Trina, for example, is better and faster than Dan at both doing the dishes and tidying up around the house. Quit trying to divide the household chores down the middle.

Instead of fighting over the amount of money that was spent on who-knows-what, shift the focus toward what really matters: (1) your fear of not having influence in important issues impacting your life, (2) your fear of not having security in your future, (3) your fear of having no respect shown for your values, or (4) your fear of not realizing your dreams.

Sex To keep sexual grievances down and the marital bedsprings bouncing, we recommend focusing on solving “coordination failure.” It’s a common problem in marriages. For most couples, talking about sex is about as comfortable as sleeping in a car. You’ve heard this a thousand times: do a weekly date night or your marriage will suffer.

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